Trying to Bridge The Gap

I am getting older by the second, and yet still feel like I am not moving forward. I see my future as being just as it is named "my future", never attainable, always looming. I feel that when I do have a future it will be to the system's requirements, acceptable to the man. I feel like I will end up going with the crowd, afraid to do anything different. Every step to get out seems to be noticed and unapprovingly gawked at by the system. The system seems to have changed me in a way that is not good, in a way of negativity, in a way that never should be or have been. I feel like I am trapped, secluded, unaware. I am in this constant state of unknown, of fog on the brain. I never seem to see forward, I am always seeing the back of what was, never the front of what will be. I am lost, I am broken, I am without guidance when I need it most. I feel like an empty hole that the dirt that is filling it just seems to seep in like water, never filling it, never leveling it.


I AM LOST